Look at growth, look at how much time people spend on the Net and look at the variety of things that they are doing. It's all really good, so I am actually encouraged by the fundamentals that underlie usage growth on the Net.
What did the priest say when watering his garden? Let us spray.
Tennis
What can go up a chimney down, but cannot go down a chimney up?
Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? They made spectacles out of themselves.
To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.
There is a big yellow bus and a bus driver who stops at a stop picks up 75 kids then 4 get off 6 get on 8get off 2 get on 3 get off 7 get on then they get to school and 74 get off. Who is left on the bus if you read carefully I have given you the answer.
I have actor friends, but they're not famous. I feel like if you're an actor or - famous, you have to overly prove that you're a normal, cool person.
A woman has 7 children, half of them are boys. How can this be possible?
As a whole, I am both safe and secure. Behead me, and I become a place of meeting. Behead me again, and I am the partner of ready. Restore me, and I become the domain of beasts. What am I?
Go on an archaeological dig
You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.
Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better get glasses, and stop doing drugs
Two competing podiatrists opened offices next door to each other... They were arch enemies.
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
Visit Auschwitz
There was a fat, short and chubby man. He used to live in a flat on the 16th floor. There were lifts but thee man ALWAYS took the stairs.Why?
I am be ANY size, shape, and i can have the same VOLUME, PERIMETER, AND AREA of ANYTHING. I can bend and flex and fit through anything. I can fly. And i can fall. i can be hot and cold. You can't hurt me. But i can kill you in a matter of minutes. I can weigh a gram, and i can weigh 500 tons. If i am big enough i can smush anything. I can be 2 inches tall. And 500 feet tall. Who am I?
I see the Beijing National Stadium as an architectural project. I accepted Herzog and De Meuron's invitation to collaborate on the design, and our proposal won the competition. From beginning to end, I stayed with the project. I am committed to fostering relationships between a city and its architecture.
There's a TV channel where you can buy all the Pope's speeches It's called "Papal View".
See Horseshoe Bend
Shop in the Grand Bazaar
a man and awoman were driving in the car and the car breaks down. Befor leaving the man tells the woman to not open any windows don't let anyone in andkeep doors locked. the woman does as he says. when the man comes back from retrieving help the woman is dead and a stranger is in the car! what happened???
If you are locked in your car and all you have is a metal bat and a rock to help you out, how would you get yourself out of the car?
A face to lose youth for, to occupy age With the dream of, meet death with.
Drink kava in Fiji
When I was a boy, the Sioux owned the world. The sun rose and set on their land they sent ten thousand men to battle. Where are the warriors today? Who slew them? Where are our lands? Who owns them?
Rough it in the Arctic
how do u get out of a room with no windows or doors. you only have a table and a mirror in the room.
What do you call a group of Combi's? A Combi nation!
I went through a long period of time in that marriage when I didn't believe anything was my fault. I had to face what my part was, and only because of that difficult work was I able to trust a man again.
There are two iditical soilders each one is exactly the same. One however is a traitor. So one goes into a tank and the other goes on foot. The traitor succeds in killing the army. Which one is the traitor?
Model aircraft
It is quite annoying that we have to change the sound we invented just to avoid sounding like people who simply copy us, but... it is flattering and of course challenging.
White and black and red all over?
there was a double appartment building with 100 flors. a woman living on the 100th floor was good friends with a man also living on the 100th floor Mr.Barker. the woman noticed that Mr.Barker hadn't come out of his room for about a week so the woman called the police to see why. when the police came to Mr.Barker's room he wouldnt awnser the door, so the police had no choice but to knock the door down. when they did, in the room was nothing but a broken pencil on the floor, a dead man sitting in a chair with a bullet in his forehead, and a locked door. the man in the chair was Mr.Barker.How did Mr Baker get shot if the Door was locked from the inside and noone was in the room. *HINT*think about the pencil.
We do a lot of shows for young people who have probably never been to the theater before and they are learning about the Holocaust, which unhappily, many of them do not know about.
Brush your teeth the moment you get up.
Drink dugh in Afghanistan
Tall I am young, Short I am old, With life I do glow God's breath is my foe.
If I don't need the money, I don't work. I'm going to spend time with my family and friends, and I'm going to travel and read and listen to music and try to learn a little bit more about how to be a human being, as opposed to learning how to be somebody else.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future.
a guy was killed in his car in the middle of an abandoned ally he was shot once in the head the windows were rolled up and locked there were no holes in the car the doors were locked from the inside no one else was in the car how did he die
Fishfarming
Holidays are the best. I couldn't imagine being from a small family.
Bowling
Attend an indy wrestling show
A man lay dead on the ground with only a rock beside him What killed him?
You are a bus driver. Their are 16 people on your bus. 4 people get on the bus. 3 people get off the bus. 10 people get off the bus and 5 get on. 14 people get on your bus while 8 get off. 13 people get off your bus while none get on. Their are 5 people on your bus until 18 get on,3 get off,and then 16 get on. What is the bus drivers name??
What did the hammer say to the drill? You're too boring.
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
Celebrate Christmas in Bethlehem
The first time I went to Johnny Depp's house in LA is when I realized what I was getting myself into. I knew he was famous, but I didn't really know what that entailed.
Whats the diffrence between a tescher and a train?
Wargaming
Visit the Big Pineapple
What's black and white and red all over
what do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
A face is too slight a foundation for happiness.
I was born in the 18th century, yet still live on today. Appearing on TV when I have something to say. Called everything from "honest" to a dirty rotten "crook", I used to wear a wig, but have had several looks. I've always had a party, but never disturb the neighbors. I've been shot at many times - major stories for the papers. What am I?
With improvisation, I just do it. It might be a total failure but then you just throw the dice again.
What is it that goes through the wood and never touches a twig?
Once the attacks occur, as we learned on Sept. 11, it is too late. It makes little sense to deprive ourselves of an important, and legal, means to detect and prevent terrorist attacks while we are still in the middle of a fight to the death with al Qaeda.
I climbed a cherry tree, where I found cherries. I didn't pick cherries, nor did I leave cherries. How did I achieve this?
No matter what anyone said, I was never going to take the stand. It's 1000 pages, for Pete's sake!
While I have felt lonely many times in my life, the oddest feeling of all was after my mother, Lucille, died. My father had already died, but I always had some attachment to our big family while she was alive. It seems strange to say now that I felt so lonely, yet I did.
What wave cant you surf on?
Drink banana gin in Uganda
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? it's a pretty obscure number.... i'm sure you haven't heard of it.
The idea of recognising your strengths and using them in as versatile a way as you can is cool to me.
what is greater than god,eviler than the devil,the poor have it,the rich need it....what am i
Visit the Napa Valley and go wine touring
Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.
A pack of hungry wolves are chasing you. You run till you come across a dilapidated house with 3 rooms. The first room has weapons hidden all over which may fire anytime. The second room has a ferocious lion which hasn't eaten for many years. The third room has vials of sulphuric acid located at the ceiling which may drip anytime thus corroding one's skin. Which room will you hide in to escape from the pack of wolves?
We don't want the efficiency of the federal government and the compassion of the IRS to run our health care.
a man has been locked in a room with nothing but a calendar which says 'spring' and a piano. he is starving and de hydrated and wants to get out. how can he get out having had something to eat and drink?
Scouting
My mother used to take me to flea markets in my stroller, and I would just rummage through the piles. You've got to dig through the overstuffed racks that everyone else just walks by. It's the only way to find the cool stuff.
I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, Of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?
Visit Times Square
And History will smile to think that this is the species for which Socrates and Jesus Christ died.
Why did the bear go to the doctor? He had a case of the hiccups.
How does a man with no legs, arms, cant see, hear, fell, smell or move walk across the road Clue:take out the F in "WAY"
Attend the NRL Grand Final
Why there should be a February 30th? So dentists can have a day to celebrate
What am i ....im greater than god, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if u eat this u die! what am i?....
Faith - you can do very little with it, but you can do nothing without it.
Confectionery
See the whirling dervishes
I don't like going to funerals early in the day. I'm not much of a mourning person.
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
Acting
See a moose in the wild
Science cannot tell theology how to construct a doctrine of creation, but you can't construct a doctrine of creation without taking account of the age of the universe and the evolutionary character of cosmic history.
Why wasn't Bertha put in jail after killing dozens of people?
When is it acceptable to put a pickle in a car?
Faith certainly tells us what the senses do not, but not the contrary of what they see it is above, not against them.
I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why.
What is Captain Ahab's favorite reggae band? Bob Marley and The Whalers!
Strange about parents. We have such easy access to them and such daunting problems of communication.
what six letter word if you add two s's to it makes a new word?
Experience a dust storm
If you can measure success in this business based on happiness alone I feel like I've hit the lottery.
Their's a burden family with a mis, sis, they take sips, and love me, myself and I. Erase the S and leave the I's invisible, whats the family's favorite river?
I love being home at Christmastime.
Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? ...because he lost interest.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Practical jokes
When is it dangerous to play cards?
Sinatra was just one of Mom's friends.
Camping
Where does the thumb meet its type? At the SPACE BAR!
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.
There is one thing. If you do this for other people, you will go to the devil. If you do this for yourself, you will go to God. Rich people want this. Poor people have this. If you eat this you die. What is it?
Juggling
Footbag
You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass.
in the wnba how many men are on the court from each team?
How much does wonton soup weigh? One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.
Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray.
A hundred feet in the air, but it's back is on the ground. What is it?
Experience a storm while at sea
There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.
Why is Yoda afraid of seven? Because six seven eight.
Try sensory deprivation
A man locks all of his doors at night and puts the only key to the doors in a bucket of freezing water, why?
Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like... bananas!
We believe a renewed commitment to limited government will unshackle our economy and create millions of new jobs and opportunities for all people, of every background, to succeed and prosper. Under this approach, the spirit of initiative - not political clout - determines who succeeds.
I'm a riddle in nine syllables, An elephant, a ponderous house, A melon strolling on two tendrils O red fruit, Ivory, fine timber! The loaf's big with it's yeasty rising Money's new minted in this fat purse. I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf. I've eaten a bag of green apples Boarded the train there's no getting off.
Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.
Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush? Because he was a bear a-singing.
Visit Pripyat
Hickory-Dickory-Dock! The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one and down did come. Hickory-Dickory-Dock!
Unknown to her the rigid rule, The dull restraint, the chiding frown The weary torture of the school, The taming of wild nature down.
What is as long as 10 men as strong as 10 men but given the chance it cannot stand up upon its own
We don't need new taxes. We need new taxpayers, people that are gainfully employed, making money and paying into the tax system. And then we need a government that has the discipline to take that additional revenue and use it to pay down the debt and never grow it again.
A termite walks into a bar and asks the nearest person "Hey, is the bar tender here?"
If a man has ten sons and each has a sister ,how many childrenhe has in total.
A good man often appears gauche simply because he does not take advantage of the myriad mean little chances of making himself look stylish. Preferring truth to form, he is not constantly at work upon the facade of his appearance.
Pet
What is at the end of everything?
I have a very open line of communication with both my children.
What do you call soup that you've found a hair in? Rabbit Soup
Write and perform a song
What starts with "e" ends with "e" and contains only one letter?
Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.
what is once in a lifetime twice in a moment but not on Earth
Medical science
Books are not men and yet they stay alive.
Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
Make a kick ass care package
As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven sacks, Each sack had seven cats, Each cat had seven kits. Kits, Cats, Sacks, Wives, How many are going to St. Ives?
From the beginning of eternity To the end of time and space To the beginning of every end And the end of every place. What am I?
The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are nothing else than grandiose thoughts in embryo.
See a Cirque de Soleil show