What kind of cat can swim?
Those who knew Lincoln described him as an extraordinarily funny man. Humor was an essential aspect of his temperament. He laughed, he explained, so he did not weep.
Every day, every birthday candle I blow out, every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well, every time my daughter says, 'Let's make a wish on a star,' there's one thing I wish for: wisdom.
What do you get if you mix Noah's ark with a vegetable?
I spin and have an atmosphere. I am used to quench. I sometimes can be dangerous. I need oxygen. What am I? (more than 1 thing)
I told my mom I would graduate. I owe that much to her and myself.
Undernourished, intelligence becomes like the bloated belly of a starving child: swollen, filled with nothing the body can use.
Your in a room (a normal room) In the middle of a room there is a table on it's side. On the floor there is a glass. And a pool of water. Juliette is dead next to the glass. Romeo has killed her. Why?
Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority.
An effort made for the happiness of others lifts above ourselves.
it cannot be seen, cannot be felt cannot be heard, cannot be smelt it lies behind stars and under hills and empty holes it fills it comes first and follows after, ends life, and kills laughter....what am i
My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.
My first is often at the front door. My second is found in the cereal family. My third is what most people want. My whole is one of the United States.
A priest says o the people, that on a certain day he will walk on water. On this this day he proves himself to be right. He was really walking on the water. How does ho accomplish this?
Well, you know what? The actor still gets up in the morning, if he's still got something to work with, you go out there and you do it. Never quit!
Sometimes a noble failure serves the world as faithfully as a distinguished success.
My biggest nightmare is I'm driving home and get sick and go to hospital. I say: 'Please help me.' And the people say: 'Hey, you look like...' And I'm dying while they're wondering whether I'm Barbra Streisand.
A man walks along a street in the pouring rain, he doesn't have his hood up, and his umbrella is full of holes. How comes not a hair on his head got wet?
Man's naked form belongs to no particular moment in history it is eternal, and can be looked upon with joy by the people of all ages.
What do you call a bee from the wrong side of town? A bumblegee
As the leader of twelve apostles, even Jesus had more executive experience than Obama.
What is the only basketball team that doesn't have the letter S at the end of it.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Example is leadership.
With our knowledge of modern-day genetics, we realize that it was possible for God to place the potential for all people throughout history into the genes of Adam and Eve when He created them.
Why was Tyler crying?
Rogue internet pharmacies continue to pose a serious threat to the health and safety of Americans. Simply put, a few unethical physicians and pharmacists have become drug suppliers to a nation.
Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.
There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.
What gets wet while it dries?
Who becomes pregnant without conceiving? Who becomes fat without eating?
Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.
I must be more sensible and realize that at my age, illusions are hardly permitted and they will always destroy me.
A man walked over a bridge, yet he walked under the bridge. How can this be?
How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes? He fell into it.
Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.
This Is Totally Amazing. Say the word COW before each word. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4 - Idiot 5 - This 6 - Got 7 - I 8 - Long 9 - How 10 - Look Now say the word COW After each word 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4 - Idiot 5 - This 6 - Got 7 - I 8 - Long 9 - How 10 - Look Now say the word COW before AND after each word. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking 4 - Idiot 5 - This 6 - Got 7 - I 8 - Long 9 - How 10 - Look
I come in every shape and size, and in every color. i am flying but i don't go anywhere. What am I?
I believe fundamental honesty is the keystone of business.
The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my siblings and me (in addition to being all the other things a mom is), and I was always grateful for that because I knew she was someone I could talk to and joke with, and argue with and that nothing would ever harm that friendship.
Samuel was out for a walk when it started to rain. He did not have an umbrella and he wasn't wearing a hat. His clothes were soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. How could this happen?
I'm a word that's hardly there. Take away my start, and I'm an herbal flair. What am I?
Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
A man pushes his car to a hotel pays the owner and pushes his car back What is he doing?
Man's only true happiness is to live in hope of something to be won by him. Reverence something to be worshipped by him, and love something to be cherished by him, forever.
Why does a dragon sleep all day?
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.
As I was going to the fair, I saw a man with golden hair. He had 3 sons each with another one. How many people were going to the fair?
For me, the best times are always going to be the most intense, the ones with the highest highs and the lowest lows.
Peace as a goal is an ideal which will not be contested by any government or nation, not even the most belligerent.
But the person who scored well on an SAT will not necessarily be the best doctor or the best lawyer or the best businessman. These tests do not measure character, leadership, creativity, perseverance.
Among all the tests President Obama faced in his first term, his biggest failure was climate change.
Many of our own people here in this country do not ask about computers, telephones and television sets. They ask - when will we get a road to our village.
Boy! amongst my senteces the Answer is clear. you just have to search for it without any fear. but if you Lose do not be afraid for a Loser can learn from his mistakes.
A man lands on a hotel and finds out he is bankrupt. What happened
Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
i can sizzle like bacon i am made in a egg i have plenty of backbone, but lack of my legs. i peel layers like an onion, but still remain whole. I can be long like a flag pole yet fit in a hole. i come at you in all sorts of colors, and some times i like being around water. What am I?
It's cool to be recognised by your peers.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
Thankfully, I have my mom and a small group of close friends who are there for me 24/7 and whom I can trust and depend on.
what do you call cheese that's not yours?