Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves.
A traveler starts a journey. For the first week he goes east. The second he goes in all directions. The third he flies up into the sky. In the fourth he comes back down. Who is the traveler?
Go zip lining
I went to school for engineering, I studied jazz. So I always had this kind of creative side and technical side, and I thought architecture might be the way to combine them, so I went to architecture school in New York.
Eat sannakji
black we are and much addmired, men seek for us if they are tiered. we tire the horses and confort the man, tell me this riddle if you can.
God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.
Two American coins add up to thirty cents, but one of them is not a nickel. What coins are they?
Go bungee jumping
My author's uncertain yet my title's the same, I contain random text yet order's my aim. Read me one day and see my pages are totally bare. Try again another day and the words will be there. I'm not a book of magic although it may sound, I can predict the future, and inside, your life can be found. Move my eye, I become involved in lactic extraction. But that's just a clue , a minor distraction. What am I?
What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
Drink ouzo in Greece
I was so emotional. Choked up. I could hardly talk all day. I'll be cleaning out my trailer and saying goodbye soon, realizing what a wonderful experience this has been.
If a hog and a half is a dollar and a half how much are five hogs?
How much do drum shaped sofas cost? 5 dollars per-cushion.
One thing I've learned to appreciate as I've gotten a little older is direct forms of communication.
I have 4 legs but can't walk, 3 eyes but can't see, twenty arms but can't grab, what am I?
My mom and I have always been very close. She is my best friend. She had to make a lot of sacrifices early on in my life to make sure I got to do what I wanted to do.
It stands on one leg with its heart in its head.
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.
What goes up the chimney down, and down the chimney up?
See a blue whale in the wild
How do you get Pikachu on the bus? Poke 'em on!
Women's humor seems to be a little more supportive. It's just kind of trying to make the other one laugh through funny voices and kind of talking about other people. I respond to that. I feel less like I'm going to get beat up in a room full of women than I do in a room full of guys.
A man hangs himself with a rope in a completely empty room. The room is 8 feet high but the man is only 6 feet high. The floor is covered with water. How did the man hang himself?
What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate? Brown-chichen-Brown-cow
Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity?
The truth is, of course, that history is not completed in modern commerce any more than philosophy is perfected in political economy. In other words, there is nothing timeless or God-given about filling stations and penicillin and plastic bags.
What has eyes but no ears, skin but no hair, white on the inside, brown on the outside.
When my friends have a health concern, they call me. I've always been a vitamin taker. I also take digestive enzymes and antioxidants, and supplements that help with the thyroid and adrenals for my time-zone changes.
Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks.
Man, I love the 'Lord of the Rings' movies. Some people would say I'm weird for liking those types of movies, but they are so cool.
In this race I will never lose, no matter the shape of your running shoes. Run all day, run all night, i promise still i will outlast your fight. I need no rest, no water no food, i am sure i would like, im not being rude. So stop now, while you;re ahead. The only time you'll beat me, is when you're dead. What am I?
I was as happy doing theater in New York for little or no money as I am now doing television for more money. The happiness, I guess, comes out of it being a good job. The success has to do with the fact that it's a good job that will continue.
And let me make this very clear - unlike President Obama, I will not raise taxes on the middle class. As president, I will protect the sanctity of life. I will honor the institution of marriage. And I will guarantee America's first liberty: the freedom of religion.
Which is the:- 1)Longest rope in the world??? 2)Biggest pan in the world??? 3)Smallest gate in the world??? 4)Smallest room in the world???
I made half a cup of tea the other day... It was so nice I had two.
What do you call someone that steals shoes? A sneaker.
If boyhood and youth are but vanity, must it not be our ambition to become men?
what do you call a vampire that sucks mucus instead of blood? nose-feratu!
what do men stand up and women do sat down and dogs do on three legs? (not pee)
Eat an authentic Chinese meal in a Chinese home
I fly to any foreign parts, Assisted by my spreading wings: My body holds an hundred hearts, Nay, I will tell you stranger things: When I am not in haste I ride, And then I mend my pace anon; I issue fire out from my side:-- Ye witty youths, this riddle con.
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two white stallions fell in the mud.
I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now - it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me. Oh, so Jesus, what a thought! You know that's the kind of thought that could lead a person to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning, and I don't want to go there.
Spend a night in a hammock
Live life to the fullest, for the future is scarce.
Captain is to Private as Master is to
I grew up where my parents would literally shove me in the car rather than have to say hello to a neighbor.
What did fish say when she hit the wall ? Dam!
Im black, white, and read.What am I?
A plane crashed in Argentina where did they bury the survivers?
Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language.
We're not trying to harass the average American. We need to convert this now to a risk-based system, with TSA concentrating and focusing on intelligence, on security, setting up again the parameters of which we do this.
There was this man that was put into a room with no windows and no doors. About a week after he was put in the room. A man came to check on him and all that was there was a puddle. What happened to the man? Hint: He was the puddle, but the puddle wasnt him
Visit Mount Fuji
The arts have always been an important ingredient to the health of a nation, but we haven't gotten there yet.
you are runing a race and you take over the person in 2nd place what place are you in?
My mom died when I was 16. I had a rough childhood, you know what I mean, but it made me strong.
black within, red without, four corners round about.
Visit Ground Zero
There is nothing permanent except change.
Shoot at me a thousand times and I may still survive; one scratch from me and you will find your prospects take a dive. What am I?
Some people think my father was a spy, because of working for that government agency in Vietnam, but he can't find his car keys, much less keep a national secret.
what can you walk up and never reach the top?
The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.
What is the moon made out of?
Where there is no vision, there is no hope.
What part of a bird Is not in the sky? Can go in the water Yet always stays dry?
Rock balancing
Finally decided on my thesis paper. It's a LOTR themed essay in defense of Sauron Titled "Getting away with Mordor"
I am not a great cook, I am not a great artist, but I love art, and I love food, so I am the perfect traveller.
A man is standing on a platform shooting birds. From the ground to the platform is 20 ft.. From the man to the to the tip of the gun is 4 ft.. How many feet is the man standing on?
Our democracy poses problems and these problems must and shall be solved by courageous leadership.
The feild where I battle is stained red and black, and all of my troops are armed for attack. Though many will die, no blood will be spilled, and no one will lay on the spot where they're killed. If fortune prevailes and some come back to life, the most likely one to return is my wife, for though I'm immortal, she is the strongest. Sometimes we're defeated if we take the longest. Who are we?
This cowboy rides to town on Friday, he stays in a niht for 2 nights and leaves on Friday. How is that possible.
Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane? He was on the "No Fry" list.
One of my biggest problems this season was with the clutch at the start of the race. I hate to risk the car.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
The person who makes it, wants to sell it. The person who buys it, doesn't use it. The person who uses, it never sees it.
Theres a yellow house with blue doors purple stairs and pink walls. Next to it there is a blue house with a green door, black stairs,and silver walls, Next to that house is a green house, what color are the walls?
Others indeed may talk, and write, and fight about liberty, and make an outward pretence to it but the free-thinker alone is truly free.
This is a government takeover of our healthcare system. It is the government basically running the entire healthcare system, turning large insurers into de facto public utilities, depriving people of choice, depriving people of options, raising people's prices, raising taxes when we need new jobs.
2 batsmen r on 94 runs.7 runs to win the match.2 balls remaining.But each batsmen does century.How?
Why couldn't the melons be together? Everyone knows melons cantaloupe.
The main thing that gives me hope is the media. We have radio, TV, magazines, and books, so we have the possibility of learning from societies that are remote from us, like Somalia. We turn on the TV and see what blew up in Iraq or we see conditions in Afghanistan.
My voice rises above the din, Sometimes catching all unaware. I never ask questions, yet get many answers.
Listening to music
When I see children, I see the face of God. That's why I love them so much. That's what I see.
What did the Scienctist say?
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it.
Computers are famous for being able to do complicated things starting from simple programs.
Gingerbread house making
What is black and white and red all over?
I'm privileged, because I have a lot of freedom. I want to use it to make as warm and normal a life as I can for our daughters.
Visit a nudist beach
why does the teacher wear sun glasses when she comes to the class.
Faith is an act of a finite being who is grasped by, and turned to, the infinite.
Eight years ago, Sam was eight times the age of his son Sam Jr. Today, if you add their ages together, they add up to 52. How old are Sam and his son?
Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature.
Why do ghosts carry tissues? Because they have BOOOOgers.
Holiday in the Maldives
Swim in the Mediterranean
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
WHO WILL FEEL MORE COLD FROM THE LETTER ABCD
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
The whole 'American Idol' way of looking at things is the antithesis of what I grew up with. There are a whole lot of kids wanting to be famous now, whereas if I'd even mentioned that word to one of my teachers, I would have got into a whole load of trouble.
What gets bigger the more you take away from it?
Start spelling each word as you count, starting with one. How high do you have to count before you reach a number that has the letter "a" in it?
Sure, climbing Mount Everest would be cool, but that's something I would now like to do as a family. Big experiences like that I don't want to have on my own anymore. I want to share them.