One day, me and my friend were drinking ice cold colas, when this girl walks up and slaps us right in our epidermis. What's an epidermis?
William is an extremely lazy and the very least intelligant boy in his class of 30 students who took an examination. Strangly his name is the first one to be announced for the test results. How come?
The approach of death certainly concentrates the mind.
Long legs, bandy thighs, A litte head and no eyes. What am I?
Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks.
two in a corner one in a room zero ina house but one in a shelter? What am I?
You hope people are going to be listening to you after you're gone. And they like you better after you're gone.
We should meet abuse by forbearance. Human nature is so constituted that if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse, the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.
i am hard but soft, clear yet foggy, i am fruity and sweet what a i? by patrick kersten
I was very, very religious. And of course I wrote about it in 'Night.' I questioned God's silence. So I questioned. I don't have an answer for that. Does it mean that I stopped having faith? No. I have faith, but I question it.
If you keep taking out of me I get bigger. What am I?
When I was at school, I was in choirs more than anything else, from a very young age, about 9 years old. And then I started taking drum lessons.
There are some people who have the quality of richness and joy in them and they communicate it to everything they touch. It is first of all a physical quality then it is a quality of the spirit.
I can be hairy and itchy all over. I hang on a stick. I can be the scariest thing you have ever seen. I stand in the middle of nowhere. What am I?
My understanding is that what was provided was general order of battle information, not operational intelligence. I certainly have no knowledge of US participation in preparing battle and strike packages and doubt strongly that that occurred.
Heroes to me are guys that sit in libraries. They absorb knowledge and then the risks they take are calculated on the basis of the courage it took to become replete with knowledge.
It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?
The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice.
old mrs micmak had but 1 eye and a tail that she let fly. every time she went through a gap she got caught in a gap. what is she.
What is free time? I'm a single mother. My free moments are filled with loving my little girl.
My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Push it once it takes a while push it twice it opens a window . what am i?
I think my children know that Mother's priority is to be with them first. But I don't think it has to be an either/or situation. Work is very important to me, and it wouldn't be in the best interest of my children for me to stay home seven days a week.
A princess was locked in a tower with four yards of pure brick for the ceiling, floors, and walls. There were no windows or doors at all, no way to get out. She turned the knob to take a bath. When she notices the tub getting full, she tried to turn the knob, but it's stuck! How does she avoid drowning?
I'm hiding in the air, I'm hiding everywhere. Under your bed, In your cupboard, I'm hiding everywhere. What am I?
When I came out of my mom's womb, I had 'sitcom' stamped on my forehead.
I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor.
What do you put in toasters?
I just heard because of the government shutdown government archeologists are working with a skeleton crew.
Once when I was 16 I had my car taken away from me for being past curfew. Oh, and I said a bad word once, and I actually did get my mouth washed out with soap.
Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think.
A man came into the barbershop to get his hair cut. After he was done he asked the barber "How much do I owe you?" and the barber said "Double what's in the register and take ten dollars out for yourself?" A second man came into the barbershop to get his hair cut. After he was done he asked the barber "How much do I owe you?" and the barber said "Double what's in the register and take ten dollars out for yourself?" The third man came into the barbershop to get his hair cut. After he was done he asked the barber "How much do I owe you?" and the barber saind "Double what's in the register and take ten dollars out for yourself?" when the barber looked intohis register he had 0 dollars. How much money did the barber have in his register to start out with?
What is the swamp-dwellers favorite form of extraterrestrial life? the Martians
To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.
To write a story about New York that only deals with people in your age and socioeconomic bracket, that feels dishonest to me. So much of New York comes from everyone bumping into each other.
which cheese is mad backwards? clue: its a cheese!
Together with a team of financial and legal experts I have spent months exploring all possible alternatives to bankruptcy but to no avail.
there are two pigs in the front two pigs in the back and one pig in the middle. How many pigs are there?
A man rides to town on Friday and stays for two nights then the next morning he left on Friday. How is it possible?
Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.
I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?
Just what future the Designer of the universe has provided for the souls of men I do not know, I cannot prove. But I find that the whole order of Nature confirms my confidence that, if it is not like our noblest hopes and dreams, it will transcend them.
The person that makes it does'nt want it. The person that buys it does'nt need it. The person that uses it does'nt know it. They come in black, brown, or white. What is it?
as i was going to st. ives i met a man with seven wives each wife had seven sacks each sack had seven cats each cat had seven kits kits, cats, sacks, wives how many are going to st. ives?
Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity.
I cover what's real, hide what is true, but sometimes bring out the courage in you. What am I?
I don't believe in God but I'm very interested in her.
I feel most at home in the water. I disappear. That's where I belong.
what can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a head but never weeps?
Your stuck in a room and there is no way out. There is only a table and saw and you. HOW DO YOU GET OUT?
Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have.
what goes oh oh oh
I did my military service from 1989 - 92 and I was never shot at or had to fire on anybody. I was very lucky. I was more involved in intelligence and counter-intelligence.
When you think back to your first kiss, your hair is perfect and she was wearing a cool outfit. We remember it with restraint and we remember it with style. We remember it as idealistically as you can think.
wat is one two and three?
As men get older, the toys get more expensive.
That's the way I got along in life. I don't ever remember being particularly jealous of anybody, because I figured if I can't do it myself, I don't deserve to get it.
How can you make 7 an even number?
Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything.
There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
Only one color, but not one size, Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain, Feeling no harm and dealing no pain. What am I?
Use these three colours : green, pink and yellow in this sentence: The pone goes ring,ring you pick it up and say hello!
By reading the scriptures I am so renewed that all nature seems renewed around me and with me. The sky seems to be a pure, a cooler blue, the trees a deeper green. The whole world is charged with the glory of God and I feel fire and music under my feet.
Stories have always been the things that entertain me and make me feel happy and sad and move me and give me the experience of being able to live many lives in one lifetime. It's the best thing about being alive.
My happiness doesn't come from money or fame. My happiness comes from seeing life without struggle.
My mom and dad worked very hard to give me the best chance in - not just in golf but in life. You know, I was an only child, you know, my dad worked three jobs at one stage. My mom worked night shifts in a factory.
I know a word of letters three add one more letter and none will be there, What's the word?
We will never fully explain the world by appealing to something outside it that must simply be accepted on faith, be it an unexplained God or an unexplained set of mathematical laws.
This is a skateboard trick that is not possible to do. What is the trick called?
If children are not introduced to music at an early age, I believe something fundamental is actually being taken from them.
A man left home, ran 90 feet and met a man. He then took a left and ran another 90 feet and yet again met another man. He took another left and ran 90 more feet running into another man. He then took a left, ran home and met a man with a mask. Who was the man with the mask?
Leisure and curiosity might soon make great advances in useful knowledge, were they not diverted by minute emulation and laborious trifles.
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.