No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education.
Knock knock -Who's there? Ash -Ash who? Bless you.
I'm going to let people know that it's cool to have a child and be young and still be a good mom. It's really tough, but I'm doing it.
It is the quality of our work which will please God and not the quantity.
i am what goes up but never comes down i am needed but hated i am useful in more than one way i somewhat hold the future
Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.
There is a man. his name is bob. bob is so rich that he has a mansion on a private island. He also has a butler, who is also his nightwatcher. Bob is going on a trip to America. He's going to take one of his plains. Before he got on his plain, his butler went up to him and told him that he had a dream that the plain was going to crash. Bob fired him and went on the plain anyway. Needless to say the plain crashed. But why was the butler fired.
There is not in nature, a thing that makes man so deformed, so beastly, as doth intemperate anger.
Although you may spend your life killing, You will not exhaust all your foes. But if you quell your own anger, your real enemy will be slain.
A electric train is heading 90 miles per hour south, and the wind is blowing 100 miles per hour,which way is the smoke blowing?
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
God is more interested in your future and your relationships than you are.
I walked along that slippery slope where if you fail through lack of faith, you sell your soul to the devil.
A man and his son are driving along I-40 when they had a wreck. The man was taken to the morgue since he was immediately dead. The son was taken to a hospital to be operated upon. When the doctor came in it immediately said "I cannot operate on this boy he is my son." How is this?
I try to shave at night so my skin has a chance to settle by the early morning call-time.
Humans cant have it. Boys cant have it. No-one has it. Molly has it twice. I don't have it. You dont have it. Ron doesn't have it. Mr. Mowel has it once. Girls always have it, but Katie doesn't have it. What is it?
We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.
A man and a woman are driving along a country road on a cold winter night when the car breaks down. Before leaving to find help, the man tells the woman not to open the doors or windows and not to let anybody in. He leaves, and she does as he says. When he returns, she is dead and there is a stranger in the car. What happened?
A man lives in the 10th floor. He uses the elavatetr to go down, but uses the stairs to go up. why does he do this?
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.
To assert in any case that a man must be absolutely cut off from society because he is absolutely evil amounts to saying that society is absolutely good, and no-one in his right mind will believe this today.
Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.
I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good.
I come in many colors and I am very thin, I am found in every country, even in your home, I am very important, you can be very creative with me, I can even help you learn. What am I?
You know what they say about men that have big feet? #They wear big shoes!
Disc golf
Each age tries to form its own conception of the past. Each age writes the history of the past anew with reference to the conditions uppermost in its own time.
You are sentenced to death, you have a pick of three rooms, The first room is full of fire burning at 350 degrees, the second room is a room full of gangsters with loaded guns, and third a room full of lions that havnt eaten in three years. Which room would you choose?
Sometimes I make very selfish choices like I did 'Once Upon A Time' for my inner 8-year-old and my hypothetical future child. I've done some movies because I would regret them if I didn't, but other projects I've done because they've scared me or if I felt I needed to do a big romantic comedy to help me professionally.
The man who goes alone can start today but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
One day a carpenter carved a block of wood which weighed 20KG. He put something that made it 19KG , what did he put?
We should reject big government and look inside ourselves for all the things that built this country into what it was.
there was a cowboy who arrived at a village on friday stayed 5 nights and departed on friday. how
What's the loudest economic system? CAPITALISM
A man walk into a cafe. He orders soup. When the waiter finaly bring him the soup and walks away the man tastes the soup. He desides it tastes horible and write dow a few numbers an walks away. These are the numbers: 1 0 0 4 1 8 0 ! What did the man say?
Success always necessitates a degree of ruthlessness. Given the choice of friendship or success, I'd probably choose success.
The most important thing about global warming is this. Whether humans are responsible for the bulk of climate change is going to be left to the scientists, but it's all of our responsibility to leave this planet in better shape for the future generations than we found it.
a box with no hings, locks, or keys, but a golden soprise inside, what is it
You can never turn the clock back and, since we're talking about mental health, I would stress that.
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.
Leadership appears to be the art of getting others to want to do something you are convinced should be done.
What has a head, a tail, but no body, legs, or arms???
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home.
I'm sometimes white, Although sometimes I'm black. I take you there, But never bring you back. What am I?
A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.
If we wish our state's growth to continue, then our future will increasingly be with industries that require a highly skilled and technically proficient workforce.
A box without hinges, door or lid, but inside a golden treasure is hidden.
Americans have discovered fear.
Find something using a metal detector
All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree.
Farmer Brown had 170 sheep all but 40 died. How many sheep does he have left?
Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.
what do you call "a find"?
The Bee Gees who are brilliant, I just love great music.
why was the cat thrown out of the card game?
No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.
What can we get,but never throw away?
Sleeping together is a euphemism for people, but tantamount to marriage with cats.
There's a wreath hanging on my door with hundred dollar bills attached. I call it an Aretha Franklin.
Rich people need it, so does the poor, a man loves it more than life, and a woman loves it more than her husband. What is it?
Ring in New Year’s with a kiss
What can run but never walks, Has a mouth but never talks, Has a bed but never sleeps?
Economic depression cannot be cured by legislative action or executive pronouncement. Economic wounds must be healed by the action of the cells of the economic body - the producers and consumers themselves.
A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.
If you buy something, you lose me If you sell something, you get me People want it and I am only paper I start at 1 to 100 What am I?
Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby.
We tried not to age, but time had its rage.
I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
I'm once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet not once in every years. What am I?
The great art of films does not consist of descriptive movement of face and body but in the movements of thought and soul transmitted in a kind of intense isolation.
I walk on all four in the morning, on two in the afternoon, and on three in the evening. What am I?
What is your name? What is the color of the sky?What is the opposite of down?
Wisdom allows nothing to be good that will not be so forever no man to be happy but he that needs no other happiness than what he has within himself no man to be great or powerful that is not master of himself.
The art of using deceit and cunning grow continually weaker and less effective to the user.
If it took 18 men to dig half a Hole.How many men would it take to dig a whole Hole?
The best writing is not about the writer, the best writing is absolutely not about the writer, it's about us, it's about the reader.
Visit Luna Park
Would it not be much better to have a president who deliberately lied to the people because he thought a war was essential than to have one who was so dumb as to be taken in by intelligence agencies, especially those who told him what he wanted to hear?
One of the coins is not a penny.How do you make 11 cents with 3 coins.
If you're a singer you lose your voice. A baseball player loses his arm. A writer gets more knowledge, and if he's good, the older he gets, the better he writes.
WHAT'S WORSE THAN RAINNING CATS AND DOGS?
What do I geek out about? What am I? Hmmm. I love movies. I watch movies. I like big, sweeping epics, like Ed Zwick stuff: 'The Last Samurai,' 'Legends of the Fall,' 'Blood Diamond,' 'Glory.'
thers 6 people at a table each has 5 crabs icome and sit down my sister gives me 1/2 her crabmeat so why do we have the same amount of crabmeat?