Since September 11, security has been increased everywhere, and we have new IDs to get on to the Fox lot. I drove to the security gate, but realized I'd left my ID in my other car. I just broke into that voice - 'Hey, man, I'm Bart Simpson. Who else sounds like this?' The guard waved me through.
What's Heavier, A Pound Of Rocks, Or A Pound Of Feathers?
Being famous as a writer is like being famous in a village. It's not really any very heady fame.
I start with F and end in uck?
Live as brave men and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts.
Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.
What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience?
A new system is a hard thing to put into place, it is opposed by those that would be disadvantaged by the new system and it receives no support from those that would benefit.
All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.
I continuously go further and further learning about my own limitations, my body limitation, psychological limitations. It's a way of life for me.
Why did the fox cross the road?
If you wait until your children are high school seniors to spring it on them that there's not a whole lot of money for school, they won't have too many options.
A cowboy on a horse in the wild west rides into an inn on Friday. Stays three nights and leaves again on Friday. How is this possible?
Why did the rabbit go to rehab? He was hopped up on easter eggs.
We've been sitting at the compromise table for a long time. We're just waiting for that cold chair to be warmed up by the Republican leadership. They still have time to do the right thing and be responsible. They just seem to be moving further and further away from it.
What eats oxygen destroys homes and hurts people?
A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.
How many deaf people do you know in real life? Unless they live in a cave, or are 14, which seems to be true for most people in this business, what could I possibly tell them that they don't already know?
What's up all night, gone all day, does'nt eat, does'nt sleep and has many faces?
Romney is right that the Obama vision is too centered on government. But his is too centered on the promotion of business and wealth creation at the expense of everything else.
at night icome out without any help and in the morning iam lost without being stolen
What is wieghtless, and can be seen with the naked eye, and when you put it in a barrel it makes it lighter (in wieght)
Young love is a flame very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
But to sustain a marriage for 50 years, you have to get real a little bit and find someone who is understanding and who you can grow with. My mom always says, 'Marry the man who loves you a millimeter more.'
Nixon in 1968, unlike Obama 2008, was elected as a minority president with only 43 percent of the vote. Yet, in 1972, he won what, in some measures, was the most lopsided election in American history with 61 percent.
What does music mean to me? I don't think I would really be much without it, without it coming through me. It's my means of communication, my means of growth, my means of transportation from one point in my life to another.
Sometimes I am black some times I am white Sometimes you can seen me at night. I have friend that are with me that are much smaller. Some of You have walked on me but not all.
A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.
Three lives have I. Gentle enough to soothe the skin, Light enough to caress the sky, Hard enough to crack rocks. What am I?
What comes one a year, twice a week, and never in a day?
Not all moral issues have the same moral weight as abortion and euthanasia. There may be legitimate diversity of opinion even among Catholics about waging war and applying the death penalty, but not... with regard to abortion and euthanasia.
what has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the middle, 3 legs at the end.
What is a normal childhood? We weren't rich, we were pretty middle-class. My dad survived from job to job with him taking care of so many relatives, he couldn't save any money.
I am sneaky and pesky and when I seek for truth it often gets me in trouble. Who am I?
That's all a man can hope for during his lifetime - to set an example - and when he is dead, to be an inspiration for history.
Why did the boy throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place.
A father's child, a mother's child, yet no one's son. Who am I?
A simple peasant is has bought a number of camels and is taking them to his farm. As he rides contentedly along he counts them - he counts 29. He was sure he had bought 30 camel, so in alarm he jumps off his camel and counts the camels again. To his delight there are 30. Half an hour later, he counts his camels and once more there are just 29. Confused, he climbs off his camel and counts again. Once more there are 30. Can you explain?
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
In a pond there are some flowers with some bees hovering over the flowers. How many flowers and bees are there if both the following statements are true: 1. If each bee lands on a flower, one bee doesn't get a flower. 2. If two bees share each flower, there is one flower left out.
You sell a screenplay like you sell a car. If someone drives it off a cliff, that's it.
A man cannot be said to succeed in this life who does not satisfy one friend.
Those who know the least obey the best.
Name an eight letter word that has kst in the middle, in the beginning, and at the end.
Few if any teenagers can relate to getting up for school and finding famous comics like Pryor and Williams hanging out in your living room after a hard night of partying. But that's Hollywood.
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it,and if you eat it, you'll die?
I have run a general election campaign pregnant and ran Ed Miliband's leadership campaign commuting to London with a new baby so I already have my system set up.
To love rightly is to love what is orderly and beautiful in an educated and disciplined way.
i am red,black,and white i have brooklyn on the side of me. what am I?
At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard the past.
There are 4 fish in the fish tank.One fish drown.How many are in the fish tank right now?
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
It is incomprehensible that God should exist, and it is incomprehensible that he should not exist.
What inspires you, what excites you when you wake up in the morning?
What word has over 1,000 letters in it.
I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
You shouldn't be afraid of failure - when something fails, you think, 'What did I learn from that experience? I can do better next time.' Then kill that project and move on to the next. Don't get disappointed.
Romeo and Juliet are found dead. beside them lie a pond of water a craked glass a red ball and the window is open, how did they die? And what are they?(hint: romeo and juliet are not human and the cracked glass is not the window)
This father and son were Driving down a road and got hit. The dad died instantly, but the kid was barley alive when the paramedics got their. The boy was rushed into surgery immediatly. When the sureon came out and said "I can't opperate on this boy, he is my son!" How is this possible?
The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years.
Government's role should be only to keep the playing field level, and to work hand in hand with business on issues such as employment. But beyond this, to as great an extent as possible, it should get the hell out of the way.
A dagger thrust at my own heart, Dictates the way I'm swayed. Left I stand, and right I yield, To the twisting of the blade. What am I?