A man wals into a bar. what does he say?
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Go on a date with a girl from every US state
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
I know a word of letters three. Add two, and fewer there will be.
First and foremost comes my family and my life with Brad. We have so much joy in raising our children and teaching them about the world that nothing really compares to that.
I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator.
Fortunately, somewhere between chance and mystery lies imagination, the only thing that protects our freedom, despite the fact that people keep trying to reduce it or kill it off altogether.
Gertrude Mills was horrified to find a fly in her tea. The waiter took her cup and went into the kitchen and returned with a fresh cup of tea. She shouted, "You brought me the same tea!" How did she know?
When a man has been consistently battering his wife, he shouldn't expect a bouquet of roses from her the morning after he promises to stop.
If a Yellow house is made of yellow bricks, a blue house of blue bricks, a red house of red bricks, then what is a green house made out of?
I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver in them. I also build bridges of silver and make crowns of gold. They are the smallest you could imagine. Sooner or later everybody needs my help, yet many people are afraid to let me help them. Who am I?
Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged.
The excellency of every art is its intensity, capable of making all disagreeable evaporate.
What did the knob say to the door? I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! ~Skip
what demands an answer but has no question?
If we became students of Malcolm X, we would not have young black men out there killing each other like they're killing each other now. Young black men would not be impregnating young black women at the rate going on now. We'd not have the drugs we have now, or the alcoholism.
Luke was murderd on the forth of july at his party, only three people came to his party. Sefton his boss, Max his best friend, and Michelle his wife. When the cops arrived the calendar was marked 1 on the second, eighth, forth,third,one, and ninth. As soon as the cops arrived and looked at the calendar they knew who did it. How did they know?
Successfully complete NANOWRIMO
I don't think it's a good attitude in your life to feel that you have to be rich to have self-esteem.
How many W's are in this weird word? DUUBY3
Thank God I never got in a fight. All of the jock dudes hated me, but all of their girlfriends thought I was nice so they wouldn't touch me. It was infuriating to them.
Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.
Whats greater than god? More evil than the devil? Poor people have it, and rich people need it?!?!
The Dead was cool, It's a great horror story. I went to the casting director of this movie and talked to him, then they called my agent and had me come in and read for it and they wanted to use me.
Obviously, I'm attracted to heavier movies.
How could all of your cousins have an aunt that isn't your aunt too?
I think there are certain folks in Missouri that don't trust government. And they haven't trusted government for a long time.
There is no way to be truly great in this world. We are all impaled on the crook of conditioning.
I appear once in summer and twice in autumn but I dont appear any other time of the year what am I
It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
I'm fatherless and motherless, And born without sin. Roaring when entering the world, I never speak again. What am I?
Two trains were going 60mph on a one way track and were going in different directions, facing each other. How didn't they crash?
The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men's initiative and independence.
what can be heard but cannot be caught?
Only one color, and not one size, stays on the ground, and easily flies, only in the sun and not in the rain, doing no harm and suffering no pain. What am I?
Romance and novel paint beauty in colors more charming than nature, and describe a happiness that humans never taste. How deceptive and destructive are those pictures of consummate bliss!
What building has the most stories?
letters before f, half of eight, opposite of b, letter before c, letter before m, middle of sun. Its a wish try 2 make it out
I stand before you today because this vision of government as the engine of opportunity is what I believe in.
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in a mud puddle.
All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.
A City in which we cant Enter
I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don't think people are ready for the message that I'm delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love.
Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to.
which one of your grandpa's boys is not your uncle?
If there is one place on the face of earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
what goes up but never comes dowm?????
Theres 1 pound of feathers and there is 1 pound of gold.Which one ways more?
Life is not an easy matter... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above weakness, above all kinds of perfidy and baseness.
All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.
So you are driving your car and you are trying to go to town. You come to a fork in the road. There are 2 men standing on both sides of the fork. You know one always lies and one always tells the truth. But, you don't know which is which. So what is the one question you would ask them to help you get to the town?[you ask one question in total to both guys. so you get two answers]
The artist in me cries out for design.
There are three words in the dictionary that end in gry. Hungry is the first word, Angry the second. What is the third word.
It's been really fun to see with each album when I change to see the fans of the show emulate my style and with the first record a lot of the kids in the crowd were wearing neck ties like I was and now you'll see a lot of girls with pink hair. It's cool, it's actually really neat.
I'm friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn't just get into it. I don't think you can be friends until you're cool with them dating someone else. That's when you know.
what is perfect, pretty, and smart?
Men do change, and change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.
Attend the UEFA Champions League Final
Take care of your life and the Lord will take care of your death.
there was a murder in a circular house. the police came, he ask the cook "did you kill the girl" the cook said "no I was cooking " then he when to the electric man. the police ask the electric man "did you kill the girl " and he said " no I was fixing the TV " so the police when to the maid and ask the same question and she said " no I was cleaning the corner": so you kill the girl?
The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books.
The vision that the founding fathers had of rule of law and equality before the law and no one above the law, that is a very viable vision, but instead of that, we have quasi mob rule.
What takes down mountains carves vallies and turns hair gray?
Everyone needs a certain amount of money. Beyond that, we pursue money because we know how to obtain it. We don't necessarily know how to obtain happiness.
It's part of the calling to at least do a few songs in the show that give people some hope. There's so much hurt in this world and... music is such a great healing balm and a great way to forget your troubles.
Jenn picked a book off the highest shelf in her room. On the spine she read how to Jog. She ran out of the room and opened the book but found it had absolutely nothing to do with jogging. Explain.......
Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.
Whatam I????I am small, a cute one, and a great one.what am i??
Food brings people together on many different levels. It's nourishment of the soul and body it's truly love.
I've become a less brave traveller since I became a dad, but in the past I was more foolhardy than brave.
i am a big rectangular box and you may come to me when a grumblng noise sounds
In individual industries where female labour pays an important role, any movement advocating better wages, shorter working hours, etc., would not be doomed from the start because of the attitude of those women workers who are not organized.
Punk's influence on music, movies, art, design and fashion is no longer in doubt. It is used as the measurement for what is cool.
Imagine your a conducter of a train.one train is going 67 mph another is going 566 mph.How old is the conducter?
Well, I think that Catholicism's basic foundation of faith is personal conscience. I think it's between you and God, not you and the Church.
I have a key used upon me, to unlock the tales and a legend on which i have gone, I can show you most, I let you hold the world within your hands though you can never truely own it. Who or what am i?
Fly Business Class
Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
I have two younger sisters and I'm such an advocate of owning who you are as a person. Don't be ashamed or intimidated. Never feel like you are not amazing.
Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
Hi! Ma and Pa told me I'd better say that all the two-letter words in this paragraph have something in common ...... or else! What's the common factor here?