What has six eyes but cannot see? Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
Beauty awakens the soul to act.
He is the person we cannot be, A person apart from you and me, Never together becuase it is better, Or so dictates the Law of English letter. Who is he?
I suppose it's amazing when you think how many things people get involved in that don't work.
there was a man walking across a bridge the bridge could hold 90 kilos the man weighed 88 kilos the king that owned the bridge gave the man three gold bars each bar weighed a kilogram he got across the bridge without it collapsing how did he do it?
Know why you believe, understand what you believe, and possess a reason for the faith that is in you.
You want to believe that there's one relationship in life that's beyond betrayal. A relationship that's beyond that kind of hurt. And there isn't.
a grandfather, a father, and a son go fishing. each get one fish but there is only one fish how is this???
I'm actually a pretty decent human being, and when I'm home I'm straight as an arrow.
It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds. A Harvard education and a Yale degree.
what is black,white,and red all over??
When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear.
We are on the feild for every game, and our team never loses, yet we have never scored a point. What team are we?
Land and sea, weakness and decline are great separators, but death is the great divorcer for ever.
There's a man with a boat that only holds him and 1 other thing. he has a sheep, a wolf, and a basket of cabbage to take across the river. How can he do it?
One of the best things to come out of the home computer revolution could be the general and widespread understanding of how severely limited logic really is.
Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.
There are 3 women Each woman has 2 children Only seven chairs to sit on are available They manage to fit on the seven chairs How is that possible
tear me of and scratch my head once was red is black instead
When do elephants have eight feet? When there are two of them.
It occurs once in a minute, twice in a week and once in a year. What is it?
With tens of thousands of patients dying every year from preventable medical errors, it is imperative that we embrace available technologies and drastically improve the way medical records are handled and processed.
The very first things that I did, even in theater, were bad guys. They are meaty roles for the most part. With the bad guy you have more freedom to experiment and go further out than with a good guy.
A man walks into a town general store to buy a candy-bar.After he does,he hears cheering outside.He asks the manager what it is and the manager replies.."In this town,we still have town hangings.Would you like to see one,it's going on now."The man,who had nothing better to do,agreed.They walked outside and the manager looked over.He saw pure horror on the man's face and asked,"What's wrong?"The man,staring at the man being hung told him this.."Brothers and Sisters,I have none,but this man's father is my father's son." Who is the man being hung?
It sometimes is just the fear of being misunderstood.
Hike the Oneonta Gorge
Dave and Brad, two popular politicians, met at a club to discuss the overthrow of their party leader. They each ordered a vodka on the rocks. Brad downed his and ordered another. He then drank his second in a gulp and decided to wait before he ordered a third. Meanwhile, Dave, who was sipping his drink, suddenly fell forward dead. Both men were setup for an assassination. Why did Dave die and Brad live?
A man with no eyes sees plums on a tree he neither takes them or leaves themhow can this be
There is a cabin in the woods. There are no footprints around the cabin. There are seven people inside that are all dead. They all died at the same time. There is no one else in the cabin. How did the people die?
As the GAO report recognizes, the long-term health of our forests relies on additional fuel reduction options and funding to reduce the risks that catastrophic fire poses to our nation's ecosystems, communities and federal budgetary resources.
How do you stop a charging bull? Take away its credit card!
"You have 27 diamonds exactly looking the same except 1 only among all is original. This original one weighs more than the other fake ones. You have a scale that can be used three times only. Use the scale to figure which one is the original diamond".
My father? I never knew him. Never even seen a picture of him.
I think that some of our soldiers die in the battlefield and some come home to bad health and die prematurely, just by the nature of the kind of business they're in.
there are two planes that chrashed into each other between Asia and Africa. Where are the survivers buried
Swing at Banos
I would like to have you quote me, Erich von Stroheim, as having said on this day of this month of this year this one thing: you Americans are living on baby food.
A man is trapped in a concrete room with no exit and he only has a mirror and bed. How does he get out?
My dad has a really great record collection that basically went up to the year I was born: 1984.
What is special about the number 854917632?
Give a tarot reading
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef.
I liked the premise of this material. I love the marriage relationship. They kind of keep each other honest, and they enjoy each other's sense of humor. Kind of a sexy but boring relationship.
I'm not only a lawyer, I have a post doctorate degree in federal tax law from William and Mary. I work in serious scholarship and work in the United States federal tax court. My husband and I raised five kids. We've raised 23 foster children. We've applied ourselves to education reform. We started a charter school for at-risk kids.
Ammy Ammy have you heard? Nanny's going to buy me a violin! And if that violin won't play. What will Nanny's buy me next?
Where did the fish go when it needed an operation? To the sturgeon
In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.
One day an owl was sitting outside on a branch he saw a man and took his wallet but he didn't take the mans. Whos wallet did he take out?
I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids! What is with ewe people!?
I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.
I'm done with men... I'm going to be alone. I have no luck with relationships. I don't think I'm made for marriage.
An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.
An airplane flying from the United States to Canada crashes on the border of the two countries. Where do they bury the survivors?
Participate in the Polar Bear Plunge
You can't fake this music. You might be a great singer or a great musician but, in the need, that's got nothing to do with it. It's how you connect to the songs and to the history behind them.
How many of each type of animal did Moses take on the Ark?
Never spend your money before you have earned it.
I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Lays.
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts.
What has no lungs, arms, hearts, or brains, but has air?
There are many challenges, there are many obstacles let us try to change the obstacles to advantages.
A plane is travaling at 550mph over canada and the u.s but something goes wrong and the plane crashes right on the boader.But there is a problem? where would you bury the survivors?
Be mistaken for being much younger than I am
What gets wetter as it dries?
Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.
We chose more freedom instead of more government. We chose the principles of our founding to solve the challenges of our time. We chose a special man to lead us in a special time. We chose Mitt Romney to lead our nation.
I love talking about women because they are a constant study and you're always learning.
how come you can trick a vampire so easily?
The practice of patience toward one another, the overlooking of one another's defects, and the bearing of one another's burdens is the most elementary condition of all human and social activity in the family, in the professions, and in society.
what sheds water, and prevent diease?
How do you make a squid laugh? Ten tickles.
Good buildings come from good people, ad all problems are solved by good design.
Except for naval and air exercises, our military should be stationed on American soil, where service men and women can lead normal lives in close proximity to family and friends.
If a man carried my burden He would break his back. I am not rich, But leave silver in my track.
Normality is death.
a man lived on the top floor of an appartment building. every day when he left to go to work he rode the elevater all the way to the lobby but every day when he came back from work he would ride the elevator half way then take the stairs the rest of the way. why is this?
Convinced as I am and as I am from my government that the world needs a new moral architecture over all I believe that this should be the first topic to debate in our world of today, ethics, moral.
Explore Bruges
Find the four digit number in which the first digit is one fourth of the last digit, the second digit is 6 times the first digit, and the third digit is the second digit plus 3.
I think cookies are sort of the unsung sweet, you know? They're incredibly popular. But everybody thinks of cakes and pies and fancier desserts before they think cookies. A plate of cookies is a great way to end dinner and really nice to share at the holidays.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.
people fear me i hate water i live off of air and brush what am i?
I've got many close friends, but there's an awful lot about friendship that is not demonstrative in my case.
Which word is the longest in the English language? Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters
No art can be noble which is incapable of expressing thought, and no art is capable of expressing thought which does not change.
There is nothing can pay one for that invaluable ignorance which is the companion of youth, those sanguine groundless hopes, and that lively vanity which makes all the happiness of life.
There's been times when I've had heartbreaking moments and I'm like, 'I can't believe you said that,' or 'I can't believe you did that'. And it hurts, it still hurts, and it'll always hurt, but I've never had somebody that I truly cared about just walk out on me, whether it was a boyfriend, or an aunt, mom or dad.
I AM SMALL N ALSO BIG. I CHANGE EVERYDAY. I WAS QUITE TINY/SMALL, BUT I NOW AM/IS BIG. I AM BECOMING BIGGER N BIGGER BY THE WEEK/MONTH/YEAR.what AM I?
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones!
There's a lot of great people out here, I just appreciate it and hope everybody has had fun because I've enjoyed my ride.
Join the Mile High Club
The bigger it is the lest you see what is it?
Men like me, who merely wish to establish political freedom, will in such circumstances lose all their influence, and others will get influence who may become dangerous to all established interests whatsoever.
Want to hear a dirty joke? This boy trips and falls into some mud.
Who spends the day at the window, goes to the table for meals and hides at night?
What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
They won't break me because the desire for freedom, and the freedom of the Irish people, is in my heart. The day will dawn when all the people of Ireland will have the desire for freedom to show. It is then that we will see the rising of the moon.
My goal wasn't to make a ton of money. It was to build good computers.