where do fish stay?
There is nothing like becoming a mom to fill you with fear.
who came first, the chikin or the egg???
The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.
what's between you and me
No period of history has ever been great or ever can be that does not act on some sort of high, idealistic motives, and idealism in our time has been shoved aside, and we are paying the penalty for it.
One star,two star,three star,four star,five sky.
two of the same type cars were driving.One of them weregoin 100 mile per hour.The were goin 40 mile per hour.The car the is goin 40 miles passes the car that is gin 100 miles.How is this possible?
When I did 'E.T.,' it sort of solidified the only family I know are these film crews. These gypsies. These filmmakers. That was the solidification and the clicking revelations of 'This is what I want to do with my life and this is where I'm going to survive.'
What's faster hot or cold? Hot! Because anyone can catch a cold! buh duh tsst
I was made to believe there was a plan in place for ending Donald's previous marriage. I pulled away because I wanted to allow him the time to deal with his wife.
Tom had a rough night. He was really sleepy, and was awake almost all night. Finally, He went to bed, and found that he had a nice sleep. In the Morning, Tom's Alarm clock went off, and since he went to bed late, he threw the alarm clock out the window. In the afternoon, he heard on the Radio that two thousand poeple got killed, and that it was all his fault. How was it his fault? Clues: 1. Tom had not sleep walked or got up during the night 2. He wasn't on any medication, and was not mental. 3. Tom had no friends or enemies
A woman files for divorce from her husband... citing that he makes too many Star Wars puns. When asked if this is true the husband says, "Divorce is strong with this one."
Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.
If this is not a riddle then.......?
it captures you. it moves you. and then its gone.it tingles in the back of your head,tempting you to chase it. What is it?
We have no reason to think that climate change is harmful if you look at the world as a whole. Most places, in fact, are better off being warmer than being colder. And historically, the really bad times for the environment and for people have been the cold periods rather than the warm periods.
If 50 percent of your career is not filled with failure, you're not really successful.
What can u do, But cant eat, Wat is Green Or Sometimes BRown or Black??
Death, they say, acquits us of all obligations.
I can be as small as an ant and as big as a whale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I cannot hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I can be as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?
It is necessary for him who lays out a state and arranges laws for it to presuppose that all men are evil and that they are always going to act according to the wickedness of their spirits whenever they have free scope.
If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*.
a man and wife are driving along in the country when their car breaks down. the man goes back to a gas station for help. he locks the carr and scrolls up all the windows. but when he gets back, his wife is dead and a stranger is sitting inside. the car wasnt forced open. so how did the stranger get into the car?
All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.
A babysitter came over one day to babysit 10 children. She decided to give them a snack. In a jar there were 10 cookies. She wants to give each one a cookie, but still keep one in the jar. How will she do it? (WITHOUT BREAKING ANY COOKIES-EACH CHILD HAS TO GET A WHOLE!)
a man walks into a dark room. He can see nothing. Another man walks into the same room. Then a cat comes in. The two men killed the cat instead of each other why? The answer: They noticed the cat was high on catnip.So the cat would go wild and bounce off the walls. If anyone or anypet touched the walls,or roof the room would sound a alarm and explode.
I've always had a 'Work hard, play hard' attitude to life - I still do - but sometimes you get involved in something that needs a calm, methodical approach.
Truth exists for the wise, beauty for the feeling heart.
two twins sit down at the table and their mother brings them a glass of lemonade apeice. the lemonades are exactly the same with the same amount of ice cubes and lemonade in each cup. one of the twins drinks hers fast the other drinks hers slow the one who drinks hers slo dies. why
Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep, And yet a third of life is passed in sleep.
A farmer has to get a fox, a goose, and a bag of corn across a river in a boat which is only large enough for her and one of these three items. She does not want to leave the fox alone with the goose nor the goose alone with the corn. How can she get all these items across the river?
Walmart is an amazing story of entrepreneurship and, as one of the world's most powerful brands, touches millions of lives every day.
Take a ride in a jetboat
Children are the anchors of a mother's life.
imagin that your in a box, how do you get out?
If we could only snap the fetters of the body that bind the feet of the soul, we shall experience a great joy. Then we shall not be miserable because of the body's sufferings. We shall become free.
You in the room to the left. There are three light switches in your room. You see a note that says "To escape this place, you must tell me which switch goes to which of the three lights in the room across the hall. But, once you get halfway through the hallway, a wall will block your path back to the room." You need to figure out how it'll work. |~~~~~~~~| | | | || | |~~~^^^~~~~~~~~| || |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| | _________||_________ | | | | 0 0 0 | | | | | |_________| |________|
Bobby Fischer has an enormous knowledge of chess and his familiarity with the chess literature of the USSR is immense.
What herb cures all ailments?
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
I read a story about a kid that ate 4 cans of alphabet soup in one sitting... It said that he later had a massive vowel movement.
If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the nearest Shell Station!
where does a coco nut tree grow from ?
Our children's health and well-being are dependent on our commitment to promoting food access and good eating habits at home, at school and in the community.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide
Bodybuilding is much like any other sport. To be successful, you must dedicate yourself 100% to your training, diet and mental approach.
There was a redhead, brunet and a blonde and they were all in a race. The redhead came first, the brunet came second. Four hours later the blonde came. Why did she take that long?
Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C.
I would rather lose a good earring than be caught without make-up.
What has one foot on each side and one in the middle?
Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.
When you have me you want to share me, but when you share me you no longer have me. What am I?
Gluttony might be innocuous were it not for the fact that gluttons tend to disregard whether their self-serving behaviors harm anyone else. We don't need to look far and wide to find examples of gluttonous behavior, as they are numerous throughout the history of capitalism.
What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?
I have total recall. I remember being born. I remember being in the womb, I remember being inside. Coming out was great.
Few things are more important to each individual's future success or to our nation's prosperity than education.
is britneys career over?
Old Mother Twitchett had but one eye, and a long tail which she let fly; and every time she went through a gap, a bit of her tail she left in a trap. What is she?
They saw me, those reckless seekers of beauty, and in a night I was famous.
What cars do wolves drive? Auuuuuuuuuuudis!
There were 2 men sharing a jail cell.One man asked the other,"What are you in for?"He said,"I'm in for something I didn't do!"What didn't he do?
Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.
I'm not anti-fashion, but I've always had a bit of a punk attitude. That's important, I think. I do my own thing.
Afreind comes up too you and say ive hidden a $100.00 bill in the libary between pages 75-76 would you look for it? Yes or No.
There was a 1 story blue house, the house was blue,the trees were blue, the sidewalk was blue, the grass was blue, their dog and cat were blue, they were blue,the cieling, walls, and floor were blue, everything was blue, Now what color were the stairs???
We need to think more about the nature of rhetoric in anthropology. There isn't a body of knowledge and thought to fall back on in this regard.
I have always argued that change becomes stressful and overwhelming only when you've lost any sense of the constancy of your life. You need firm ground to stand on. From there, you can deal with that change.
how can you be armed if you dont have wapons?
I grew up on the South Side of Chicago, north Beverly. It was cool, everybody's cool on the block.
why was 7 afrade of 9 ?
who has performed his amazing feats by rope walking on niagra falls.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Drink sangria in Spain
Words can't possibly describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can 4/10
I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.
The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
if you put roast in a roaster what do you put in toaster?
Even though I grew up as a Sephardic Jew in Brooklyn where we ate Syrian food and went to temple, it was still America.
Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.
What happened to the tyrannical fruit? He was impeached!
one day one man on a horse went into a town on a sunday and he was there for 4 days and he went back on wednsday and goes home how is that?
I think it's impossible to judge whether another person should come out. You just hope they will on their own time and their own terms.
I have been blessed in many ways, and one of those is to have been born in Africa, for me a great treasure house of stories. I have been researching it since my infancy reading about it, talking to men and women who have spent their lives in this land, living it as I have and loving it as I do. I write almost entirely from my own experience.
Why did the superhero make a lot of shredded cheese? It was for the grater good.
Attend a rugby league game in Papua New Guinea
There are 4 brothers all born together. The first one runs & never wearies. The second eats & is never full. The third drinks & is always thirsty. Then fourth sings a song that is never good. How are the brothers?
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell!
As a boy, I believed freedom for America meant freedom for me. There was a time I believed every word spoken.
A blue house is made of blue bricks. A yellow house is made of yellow bricks. A red house is made of red bricks. An orange house is made of orange bricks. What would a green house be made of?
If I had learned education I would not have had time to learn anything else.
There was a london scholor walking along. He pulled of his gloves an Drew of his head. What was that london scholors name? Hint: The name was inside the sentence.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? because its too far to walk!
It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.
What's greater than god, worse than the devil, poor people have it, and rich people want it?
What has 100 teeth and has a monster behind it
Fame is a lot of pressure, especially when you're responsible for your entire family. Financially, emotionally - everything.
I'm over the moon to be involved in the 'Doctor Who' Christmas special. I can't quite believe it as it's a part of the family tradition at the Jenkins household. I heard the news that I got the role on my 30th birthday and it was the best birthday present ever.
Round as a marble, blue as the sea, unless I am brown or grey maybe! Smile and I shine my window pane, Frown at me and down comes my rain. I see all things, but nothing I hear, sing me to sleep and I disappear. What am I?
Some old men, continually praise the time of their youth. In fact, you would almost think that there were no fools in their days, but unluckily they themselves are left as an example.
Travel the Mississipi by riverboat
What can you catch but not throw?