Have you heard about that hot Thai lounge singer? Yeah. They call him *Frank Sriracha.*
The person who makes it never uses it. The person who buys it never uses it. The person who uses it never know that he is using it.What is it?
A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage which in the past has been brought to public life is not as likely to insist upon or regard that quality in its chosen leaders today - and in fact we have forgotten.
Tom's Mother Has Three Childern, One Is Name Dime, One Is Named Nickle, What Is The Third One Called?
What creates freedom? A revolution in the streets? Mass protest? Civil war? A change of government? The ousting of the old guard and its replacement by the new? History, more often than not, shows that hopes raised by such events are often dashed, sooner rather than later.
See the Aurora Australis
I think it's so cool to be tall. Even when I'm not wearing heels people tell me I'm tall and I always take it as a complement. The good thing is I can always see everybody in the room.
There was a very rich family, they lived in a big circular house. They had a maid, a butler, and a gardener. The parents were going to a party, so they tucked the younger kids into bed and kissed them goodnight and said goodbye and kissed the older kids goodnight. While the parents were gone the butler was feeding the older kids, the maid was dusting was dusting the corners, and the gardener was watering the plants. When the parents came home all of the kids were dead. Who killed the kids?
its a the smoothest thing like pudding and pie and the fluffiest thing in the sky.
Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life.
I am an example of what is possible when girls from the very beginning of their lives are loved and nurtured by people around them. I was surrounded by extraordinary women in my life who taught me about quiet strength and dignity.
Granny looked up from her rocking chair and said: As far as I can tell, there is only one anagram of the word trinket. What is it?
I also think a Hot Mom is someone who can connect with what's current in her kids' world.
how can u make time go fast
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
500 of these fit inside the merchandise box. 499 of those can fit into 1 of them. what is it? (no, its not the merchandise box)
Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart.
Love implies anger. The man who is angered by nothing cares about nothing.
When I got depressed, I watched Bruce Lee movies. I learned everything from Bruce Lee.
It took me realizing that a broken heart has never actually killed anyone to find the courage to ask for what I want, in just about every situation. That was part of my own growing up.
I believe firmly that in making ethical decisions, man has the prerogative of true freedom of choice.
There was a baby bull and it was scared. did it run to its father bull or mother bull?
People had this image of the Jacksons as the perfect American family and I destroyed that image. But what people have to understand is writing that book was very healing for me.
Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it.
it is raining and adam do not has his raincoat on but after sometime under the rain his hair is not wet
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the fates.
A tall man is laying face-down in the middle of a desert. He is dead. Laying in front of him is a rock, a buzzard, and a cactus. The man has no cuts, bruises, or any type of bodily damage whatsoever. He did not die of dehydration, nor has he had a stroke, heart attack, etc. Who is this man, and how did he perish?
A man is taking a hike in Alaska. He is walking along the ice, when suddenly, he slips and falls. Upon getting to his feat, he realizes that there was something stuck in the ice below where he fell. He wiped off the snow, and dug them out with his ice picks. He quickly discovered that the objects were two frozen human beings. As soon as he inspected the bodies, he knew right away that they were Adam and Eve. How did he know?
Men have a respect for scholarship and learning greatly out of proportion to the use they commonly serve.
As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives, Each wife had seven sacks, Each sack had seven cats, Each cat had seven kits. Kits, cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?
Great woman belong to history and to self sacrifice.
Attend the Alburquerque Balloon Festival
One man's folly is another man's wife.
There is a man who is walking down a street and see's a girl about to jump he walks over and says hey before you jump can you give me a Blow job and she says Sure. 10 minutes later he says that was the best and longest blow job ive ever gotten why would you jump if you can do that! *Awnser for the Catch
Serenade somebody
How do cows get their gossip? They herd it through the bovine.
There is even a happiness - that makes the heart afraid.
I am fiscally prudent and socially progressive. I believe in protecting a woman's right to choose. I believe in marriage equality.
What's the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, what's the beginning of every end, and the end of every place?
We enter the world alone, we leave the world alone.
whats always coming but never here
Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.
Love, free as air at sight of human ties, Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies.
A husband and wife are on a road trip they break down the man tells the wife to lock the doors and don't let any body in. then when he came back she was dead with a male in the car.
I heard the best time travel joke tomorrow.
Most of the media... is positioning the merger with Compaq and the recent actions by Walter Hewlett and David Packard as a fight between the past and the future.
Fred and Bob were dead on the floor with shattered glass and water all around them. The door was locked from both the inside and the outside. The window curtain was left blowing. How did they die?
He's a man of great common sense and good taste - meaning thereby a man without originality or moral courage.
Raft along the Li River in Yangshuo
There's only one problem with reading articles about space based technology It all goes waaaay over my head.
Anywhere you have extreme poverty and no national health insurance, no promise of health care regardless of social standing, that's where you see the sharp limitations of market-based health care.
I am always hungry, I must always be fed. the finger I lick, will soon turn red.
Did you hear the joke about the fast car? I would tell you but I think you're too slow to get it.
It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'
What is greater than god? Eviler than the devil ? The poor have it ? The rich need it ?
What do you call a dog in a diving bell? A sub-woofer
If you do not wish a man to do a thing, you had better get him to talk about it for the more men talk, the more likely they are to do nothing else.
what has eyes but cannont see. Has four legs but cannon walk. Strong enoufgh to lift a whole turkey, a sack of potatoes, and some stell yet with no arms. Comes in diffrent colors and all in diffrent shapes and styles. yet it does the same thing. its only used during night for in the day there day light. everyone gathers around as soon as the first thing touches the ground. What am i?
In all our deeds, the proper value and respect for time determines success or failure.
There is a man that lives in a skyscraper condo his house is way up on the 50th floor so every morning he goes to work on the same elevator that takes him down to the basement garage he goes to work, and come back parks his car and takes the elevator halfway up and walks the other half up the stairs, that's his daily rutine, but why?? Why doesn't he ride the elevator all they way up to his floor?
Why did the dog go into the water? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog.
what is up and down but not air
In terms of number of movies, I've been in an extraordinary amount. If you count only the minutes I'm onscreen, it's not so long.
What's the diffrence between abad golfer and a bad skydiver.
I always looked for a man to rescue me and bring me happiness. I bought into that myth, of course, and looked for my own Prince Charming.
What do you call a man with his big toe above his shin? Tony
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
I start with t and end with t, however I only have one t. What am I?
The thing about the UK is we don't really make that many great movies.
Anna:What is the height of stupidity?
The New York Quarterly is an amazing, intelligent, crazy, creative, strange, and indispensable magazine.
what gives you lots of work, mostly in school, and gives you punishment
what goes around the world but yet remains at the corner?
Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting that speaks.
For there is no defense for a man who, in the excess of his wealth, has kicked the great altar of Justice out of sight.
there are 2 large steel objects in space one can not move at all the other is going in a straight path it canot slow down,stop,or change paths.so wat happens when they hit each other?
One thing I've been happy as peach pie about - because I'm all about the children and the happiness of a woman because that makes the happiness of the home - is that nannies, day cares and babysitters are all collapsing, which is forcing moms and dads to raise their children at home.
Hw Do U Catch A Squirrel ?
A man walks up to you and says - "everything I say to you is a lie." Is he telling you the truth or is he lying?
I wanna change the game in way where I'm not knocking nobody out of the way, not claiming to be the best at this or that, but just doing wonders with the gift I've been given.
What first walks on 4 legs, then 2 legs, and then 3 legs???
Listen, if there's one sure-fire rule that I have learned in this business, it's that I don't know anything about human nature.
where does a dog go when it is ill?
Why did the mobster buy a planner? So he could organize his crime
First comes thought then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.
You come across a division in your path and need to rest for the night. However, there is a village of truth-tellers and a village of liars next door. There are two people at the division (one from each village). What question can you ask which will ensure you arrive at the village of truth-tellers?
You work on things and you have such faith in them while you're making them that everything feels special - in a way.
What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions? A Humblebee.
Sometimes, the other characters are too normal and then you start to be brought back to reality but then Luna shows up and she is just so funny and cool and honest and slightly mad and she's all that matters. She is 100% true. She puts on no shows, because she is so comfortable with herself.
A man walks into a pet store and wants to buy a parrot. The clerk saw him and said that the bird will repeat everything it hears. So the man takes the bird home and starts to talk to it. But the parrot doesnt say anything. if the clerk told the truth why is the parrot not talking.
How do you confuse a fish? You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!
That which makes people dissatisfied with their condition, is the chimerical idea they form of the happiness of others.
Untitled' is a time machine that can transport you to 1992, an edgy moment when the art world was crumbling, money was scarce, and artists like Tiravanija were in the nascent stages of combining Happenings, performance art, John Cage, Joseph Beuys, and the do-it-yourself ethos of punk. Meanwhile, a new art world was coming into being.;Jerry Saltz;art 4334;Many art-worlders have an if-you-say-so approach to art: Everyone is so scared of missing out on the next hot artist that it's never clear whether people are liking work because they like it or because other people do. Everyone is keeping up with the Joneses, and there are more Joneses than ever.;Jerry Saltz;art 4335;A sad fact of life lately at the Museum of Modern Art is that when it comes to group shows of contemporary painting from the collection, the bar has been set pretty low.;Jerry Saltz;art 4336;The alchemy of good curating amounts to this: Sometimes, placing one work of art near another makes one plus one equal three. Two...
In the ocean I live, but one touch of dry land for me, I die. What am I?
One's philosophy is not best expressed in words it is expressed in the choices one makes... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
I am unbreakable. Even when you break me, I'm still not broken. What am I?
In all honesty, at that time, I never saw myself as an author... I was just a Mom in a state of panic, trying to enter a short story contest to win the prize money in order to keep the lights on in my home.
A brunette,redhead, and a blonde are stranded in an island. They find a lamp and rubbed it. A geine appeared! "I will send you back home if you say something that is true about you,if it is not true, you explode!" said the geine.The brunnette said that she thinks she is pretty and she went home! The redhead said that she thinks her hair is pretty and she went home. the blonde said "i think......." and BOOM,She exploded! why does this happen?
One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
If you have three oranges and you take away two, how many will you have?