Not everybody trusts paintings but people believe photographs.
20 heads were cut' no one was killed .after 10 days the heads again growd how could that be
Why couldn't the alligator satisfy his lover? He had a reptile dysfunction.
Nothing is so galling to a people not broken in from the birth as a paternal, or, in other words, a meddling government, a government which tells them what to read, and say, and eat, and drink and wear.
a men and a women were in a car the man stoped and locked all the doors and went to a store when he came bac the women was dead and a person tat he never saw before was there.What happened to the women?
If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
12, 52, ___ Although greater in size, it is equivalent in time. What goes in the blank and what significance does it have?
If any country was a mine-shaft canary for the reintroduction of cholera, it was Haiti - and we knew it. And in retrospect, more should have been done to prepare for cholera... which can spread like wildfire in Haiti... This was a big rebuke to all of us working in public health and health care in Haiti.
Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?? It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.
I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities. I turn pancakes brown and make your champane bubble. If you sqeeze me, I'll pop. If you look at me, you'll pop. Can you guess the riddle?
I have a lot of health anxiety.
I'm tired of people calling America the dumbest country in the world. Quite frankly, I think Europe is!
A mum gives birth to a boy. The boy grows up. The boy marrys the mum. How is this legally possible?
Cross the Oresund Bridge
The great gift of Easter is hope - Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God, in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love, which nothing can shake.
How do you prepare for a party in space? You planet
We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
Oh, what a surprise! Oh, what a miracle! It sprouted without a seed, It stood without a trunk.
it can get a clock,but cannot tell time it can get a bed,but cannot sleep it can get shoes,but doesn't have legs it can get a book,but cannot read it has a face,but cannot talk it has a number,but cannot count what is it?
That's why I do this music business thing, it's communication with people without having the extreme inconvenience of actually phoning anybody up.
Tag something (graffiti)
im short but tall at the same time ? describe me
The fast food restaurant for babies. "Welcome to Gerber King, may I take your order?"
That's what my Dad always told me, on the ballot, they should always have a third choice, like none of the above, then if enough people picked that, they'd have to get new candidates.
Megacollectors suppose they can enter art history by spending astronomical amounts.
Courage is... the knowledge of how to fear what ought to be feared and how not to fear what ought not to be feared.
I went into the woods and got it. I sat down to seek it. I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it. What is it?
What's a blind person's favorite fast food joint? Taco Braille
Sometimes when we weep in the movies we weep for ourselves or for a life unlived. Or we even go to the movies because we want to resist the emotion that's there in front of us. I think there is always a catharsis that I look for and that makes the movie experience worthwhile.
right say umm..... u r the bus driver 5000 people get on the bus then 45 people get off another 31 people get on. who is the bus driver?
I was eating mint chocolates and I felt sick after eight.
My own nature hovers between neurotic and paranoid. I've developed the habit of mentally listing things that make me optimistic about the future. I do it every day.
a man goes to bed one night and turns off all the lights in his house. he wakes up the next morning and watches the news seeing this he becomes very upset and distraught. why???
Radio interoperability is essential for our police, fire, and emergency medical service departments to communicate with each other in times of emergency.
I was brought up by a single mom in a poor town in Arkansas and while some aspects of small-town life were really positive - like the fact that everyone there is really sweet and hospitable - there is also this close-minded mentality, and that naturally made me want to rebel.
There is a clothing store in Bartlesville. The owner has devised his own method of pricing items. A vest costs $20, socks cost $25, a tie costs $15 and a blouse costs $30. Using the method, how much would a pair of underwear cost?
If there are two ducks in front of a duck and two ducks behind a duck, how many ducks are there?
You may call God love, you may call God goodness. But the best name for God is compassion.
I an not a girl's best friend though I am very close I can be good and start a new trend I am hard to find I am born in a mouth if your looking for me look toward the south
A man's sentiments are generally just and right, while it is second selfish thought which makes him trim and adopt some other view. The best reforms are worked out when sentiment operates, as it does in women, with the indignation of righteousness.
I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation and kids all around the world who admired me.
you enter a rooom and see there is a small hole in the window , a dead body on the floor , water on the floor and glass on the floor. what had happened?
Why are jokes about rotten eggs banned? Because they're infeggtious
A whopping 89 percent of buyers start their home search online. How your house looks online is the modern equivalent of 'curb appeal.' Rent a wide-angle lens and good lighting, get rid of your clutter and post at least eight great photos to win the beauty contest.
what ten letter word starts with gas?
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe.
What can be heard and caught but never be seen?
I don't think that sin and pursuing happiness are not necessarily the same thing.
if you have a O wants a o.what am I
The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
Learn how to play Chess
Gravity makes a terrible friend. It's always holding you down.
Happiness is being on the beam with life - to feel the pull of life.
What insect does a blacksmith manufacture?
What gets wet when drying?
Modeling
I just write what I wanted to write. I write what amuses me. It's totally for myself. I never in my wildest dreams expected this popularity.
I own stock, and I also insure my car with Geico.
Be super cheesy on Valentine’s Day
Literature is the art of discovering something extraordinary about ordinary people, and saying with ordinary words something extraordinary.
A man is in a room with 4 10inch soild steel walls. A 10 inch thick roof. And a 10inch thick floor. he has a chair a saw and a tube of glue. How does he get in the room (the room was built around him incase your wondering how he got in!)
This is one of those cases in which the imagination is baffled by the facts.
I'm as soft as silk, I'm as ferocious as a bear. I am felt by all and seen by none. My enemy is earth.
Walk along the Great Wall of China
a mother and her child went shopping and the mother wanted to buy her child a present for his birthday. She didn't want her child to know what she was getting him so she decided to send her child to pick a present from the toy section. Why did she do this?
The reason for not getting married was that I just didn't have a partner to get married to. Climbing mountains was more attractive to me than marriage, or other fun things like that.
Learn to sing a song in another language
I loved everything about Spain - the people, the language, and the food!
Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.
What do you call a flower in Florida? Orlando Bloom.
The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as an opportunity.
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
Have an article published in a newspaper or magazine
It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.
I am a prisoner trapped and i cant escape but i have glipses of daylight but only when my master is being rude also i am quite long aswell as being slimy my main objective in life is to deal with food. What am I?
The audiences are there as a result of my history with the band but also as a result of my being able to reach people with a tune.
A man leaves home and makes 3 lefts. When he returns home there are 2 masked men. Who are these men?
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
Billy was an orphan. His owners did their best to find him a good home to live in. Billy couldn't read, so they made a collar for him stating his name and destination. The railroad workers did their best to get him there but Billy never made it to his home in the end. Why?
Drink real absinthe
there is a frog which can jump 10 meteres, it is stood in the middle of a pond 9 meteres away from the side, the frog cant jump to the side, why
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger. And then it hit me.
She never envisioned a legal career for me, but she did think it was very important that I be able to support myself, and I think she would be pleased to see what has become of me.
You want to send a valuable object to a friend. You have a box which is more than large enough to contain the object. You have several locks with keys. The box has a locking ring which is more than large enough to have a lock attached. But your friend does not have the key to any lock that you have. How do you do it? Note that you cannot send a key in an unlocked box, since it might be copied.
When I was living on the street I would be standing out in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater, leaning against my car and signing autographs and nobody had any idea that I was living in it.
Anyone can play it, but no one can win it. You can play by your self or with as many people as you please, and there are no rules as to how to play it. What is it?
Eat only bacon products for a day
all people need me,we can use our shoe's as a replacment!what am i?
My deepest impulses are optimistic, an attitude that seems to me as spiritually necessary and proper as it is intellectually suspect.
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
What walks on Four legs in the begining, Two in the middle, and Three in the end?
I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.
Which side of a horse has the most hair? The outside!
Beauty, unlike the rest of the gifts handed out at birth, does not require dedication, patience and hard work to pay off. But it's also the only gift that does not keep on giving.
if your bedroom were pitch dark and you needed a pair of matching socks, how many socks would you need to take out the drawer if there are 10 white socks and 10 blue ones?
I'm famous for being nicer to my fans than anyone on the face of the earth because I figure, a) They pay my salary, and b) It's probably like a big moment in your life to meet somebody so I would say, 'Just come on up.'
These two people you may have grown up with when you where little. They are old and warmhearted. We would not be here if it wasn't for them. You could talk to them when you where down and more importantly when no one was around. They may have spoild you and then again they could be mean. But some are nice and some are small like rice but I know I love mine for they are all mine.Who are these people.
Jesus wrote a play about a tornado. It was an Act of God.
Marriage of attraction is a gamble anyway, so you might as well marry into a family that is similar to your own, and make that much less of an adjustment. But the 'love marriage', as it is called, is equally common in India now. But it would be interesting to do a comparison of what would work better. Marriage is hard work, and it is a gamble.
Visit North Korea
How many of each animal did Moses have on his ark?
How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a very calm rabbit? The tame way.
Lay this unto your breast: Old friends, like old swords, still are trusted best.
you are stuck in a house you have four objects to use you have a wooden chair,a ladder a piano,and an axe. The axe is rubber What would you use to get out?? hint* you can't get out with breaking it and you can only pick one object.
Is he alone who has courage on his right hand and faith on his left hand?
in a cabin in a forest the windows are broken and the glass fell on the inside. three people lay dead. what caused the death
You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Dam.
Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something. Soon it becomes a reality. Act, look, feel successful, conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be amazed at the positive results.
Visit Sol de Manana
There are 2 in every room and 1 in every corner? What is it?
If you want to lose your faith, make friends with a priest.
What do cows like to put on their hot dogs? moostard
Imagination rules the world.
whats the last letter in the english language?