when is 1-5=4?
My mom is painfully sweet she's from Nebraska.
I'm now learning how to distinguish when I'm acting and when I'm not acting - offstage as well as onstage.
there is a man, he is dead in a room hanging from the ceiling. there is nothing in the room except a puddle of water and the windows were not broken and the room was locked from the inside, how did he die
Latin food suffers like Chinese. You can do marginal Chinese and be successful. You can do crappy Mexican and be packed.
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck chuck if a would chuck chuck could chuck wood?
A MAN AND HIS SON WERE IN A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT. TWO AMBULANCES COME AND CARRY THEM TO DIFFERENT HOSPITALS. THE SON NEEDS EMERGENCY SURGERY, BUT UPON ENTERING THE ROOM THE DOCTOR SAYS I CAN NOT OPERATE ON HIM, HE IS MY SON. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? (YES, HIS REAL DAD IS BEING CARED FOR AT ANOTHER HOSPITAL.)
i am a thing.The fishermen love me.The doctor hate me.kids want to eat me.who am i?
The only instrument I can play is piano. Whenever I make songs at home, I play the piano and make them on the piano.
I don't like to produce albums. I hate producing albums, as a matter of fact, because I'm an obsessed mixer and I can't leave it alone.
A plane crashes on the border line between Canada and USA. Where do you bury the surivors?
What is my name?
I use the music to vent, and a lot of the stuff that I am writing about or was writing about contained a lot of anger and anxiety, stress and depression, so that's how the album came out so dark.
What costs nothing, wheighs nothing but lasts a lifetime that one person cant own, but two can share
A rise in the level of saving can reduce aggregate activity temporarily but only a sustained high level of saving makes it possible to have the sustained high level of business investment that contributes to the long-run growth of output.
What weighs exactly 2,000 pounds?
Healing rain is a real touch from God. It could be physical healing or emotional or whatever.
All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
A man was found dead in his study. He was slumped over his desk and a gun was in his hand. There was a cassette recorder on his desk. When the police entered the room and pressed the play button on the tape recorder they heard: "I can't go on. I have nothing to live for." Then there was the sound of a gunshot. How did the detective immediately know that the man had been murdered and it wasn't a suicide?
I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.
A man got caught by the policemans and have to get killed. The policemans gave the man three choices for how to get killed. The first choice was get shot by a gun. The second choice was sit in a electric chair. And the third choice was sent in a cage with 30 lions that didn't eat for two month. And what if the man is smart. What will he choose?
Open the way before the new government to prove that it is for serving the people.
There is a simple one room house. In each wall the is a window. Ech of the walls faces south. You look out one of the windows and see a bear. What color is the bear?
Dead on the field lie ten soldiers in white, felled by three eyes, black as night. What happened?
I've always loved interior design.
I hear the way people talk about the children of famous people. They're not treated very well. The presumptions are usually quite awful. So I tried to establish myself with a couple of movies. After 'Juno' I thought: 'I think I've defined myself enough as my own director that I'd love to work with my father.'
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Which is the angerous city
There are a lot of things that are personally uncomfortable to show, especially me without makeup and completely bloated or crying. But I've realized that it's time for me to show my audience that you don't have to be perfect to achieve your dreams. Because nobody relates to being perfect.
It is greater than God, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
The two most misused words in the entire English vocabulary are love and friendship. A true friend would die for you, so when you start trying to count them on one hand, you don't need any fingers.
to peases grow a county
It is a fact often observed, that men have written good verses under the inspiration of passion, who cannot write well under other circumstances.
I am often the brunt of my own humor.
The cottage garden most for use designed, Yet not of beauty destitute.
What starts the process, really, are laughs and slights and snubs when you are a kid. If your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance.
You walk with me every day. I can only be seen in the day and i go away in the dark. What am I?
Drugs are the enemies of ambition and hope - and when we fight against drugs we are fighting for the future.
If food is poetry, is not poetry also food?
Peater piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,if peater piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,how many pickled peppers did Peater piper pick?
Your car should drive itself. It's amazing to me that we let humans drive cars... It's a bug that cars were invented before computers.
A famous magician, had a water glass that was filled to the top. Holding the glass above his head he let it drop to the carpet without spilling a single drop of water. How could he manage to drop the glass from a height of over six feet and not spill any water??
The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed.
There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.
Glittering points That downward thrust, Sparkling spears That never rust.
When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag.
I am an unconventional beauty. I grew up in a high school where if you didn't have a nose job and money and if you weren't thin, you weren't cool, popular, beautiful. I was always told that I wasn't pretty enough to be on television.
a man is driving at night without his head lights on, he sees a dead body in the road. How?
Why was the baby ant so confused?
The mother art is architecture. Without an architecture of our own we have no soul of our own civilization.
My recollection is - and I'd have to confirm this - but I don't recall paying any money to go to law school.
old mother twitchet had one eye, and a long tail that she let fly. And every time she went through a gap, she left she left a bit of her tail in its trap. What am I ?
MR.SMITH AND HIS SON AURTHER ARE IN A CAR CRASH MR.SMITH DIES IMMEDIATELY AND AURTHER IS RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN HE GETS TO THE HOSPITAL THE DOCTOR SAYS I CAN'T OPERAT ON HIM HES MY SON WHOES THE DOCTOR?
If Liberia has failed, then, it is no evidence of the failure of the Negro in government. It is merely evidence of the failure of slavery.
There are only really a few stories to tell in the end, and betrayal and the failure of love is one of those good stories to tell.
My entire life has been an attempt to get back to the kind of feelings you have on a field. The sense of brotherhood, the esprit de corps, the focus - there being no past or future, just the ball. As trite as it sounds, I was happiest playing ball.
When I'm not writing or tweaking my computer, I do embroidery. When I'm not plunging into the past, tweaking, or embroidering, I'm reading books about history, computers, or embroidery.
A skeleton walks into a bar orders a beer and a mop.
where does friday come before thursday ?
I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality.
A radical inner transformation and rise to a new level of consciousness might be the only real hope we have in the current global crisis brought on by the dominance of the Western mechanistic paradigm.
Whoso loves Believes the impossible.
what is greater than god, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people need it, and if you eat it you will die?
All great peoples are conservative.
The facts are plain: Religious leaders who preside over marriage ceremonies must and will be guided by what they believe. If they do not wish to celebrate marriages for same-sex couples, that is their right. The Supreme Court says so. And the Charter says so.
I've never really had a hobby, unless you count art, which the IRS once told me I had to declare as a hobby since I hadn't made money with it.
what thing is the smallest thing inthe Earth??
When I was waiting tables, washing dishes, or mowing lawns for money, I never thought of myself as stuck in some station in life. I was on my own path, my own journey, an American journey where I could think for myself, decide for myself, define happiness for myself.
In the grocery store, Sal met his only daughter?s only husband?s mother-in-law?s only mother-in-law. Who was she?
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
There's always hope. You can lose everything else in the world, but Jews never lose hope.
It's not that our family has no taste, it's just that our family's taste is inconsistent.